Coming out of the (spiritual) closet...

The upside of all these long commutes is that I have a chance to reflect on how I came to be here. As a result, on my way to London I decided to pull out the laptop and write about it.

I have alluded to some of my energetic and spiritual practices on this blog, but in the interests of full disclosure (and in case anyone is interested), I feel it's time to clarify how I came to be on this path. I'm not always entirely open about this, depending on who I'm talking to, as it often invokes a response such as, "oh you're into all that hippy crap", or similar ;-)

I would say that I had a fairly typical upbringing, outside of any church or religious denomination. I fully believed in science and logical thinking resulting in my choice to enter a very 'left-brained' field of study and ensuing profession. I really had no interest or concept of spiritually, or what that may mean, until my mid-twenties.

During this time, my (ex) partner was experiencing some significant health challenges was not getting better through the typical health care route. This was quite frustrating for me and thinking there must be a better way, I began to research alternative options.

I came across the concept of 'raw-foodism' which is typically a vegan diet consisting of various combinations of fruits, vegetables, nuts, seeds, smoothies, sea vegetables, sprouts etc. The idea is that the food provides complete nutrition as much of this is destroyed by cooking. I experimented personally with this diet for nearly two months and during this time I experienced something of a 'spiritual awakening'. It's a little difficult to explain this to someone who may not have experienced this for themselves. Certainly when you are in this space the rational mind can think "am I going crazy", and ultimately it is confronting to see all your long held beliefs come crashing down.

In an attempt to describe what I went through, it was as though I felt like a wild animal trapped in a cage. The super-clean diet had given me a tremendous energy boost, almost like a constant high. It was as though my everyday state of being was pure drudgery up until that point. My work became unbearable, that entire paradigm seemed completely false. I couldn't stand to sit in a cubicle for another moment, rather I wanted to be outdoors, observing nature. I decided something had to give and backed off from the diet. I learned through speaking to others that this experience can be quite typical for those who pursue raw-foodism.

In a continual quest to integrate that feeling of a spiritual 'high' into daily life, a couple of years ago I attended my first Vipassana meditation retreat. To quote 'Eat Pray Love', "this is the extreme sport of meditation". It involves 10 hours of meditation daily, for 10 days, in complete silence. At first I had no idea how I could stay there another minute let alone 10 days. The mind was so active and full of 'space junk' it was almost unbearable. But something happened after 3 days, the mind became quieter, and I began to connect with my energetic body. This in itself was almost an alarming experience. I sat and watched my body 'dissolve' over a few days, resulting in a strong channel of light shooting through my body and into the universe around day 6.

The 'energetic' body

I'd no idea what happened, no way to rationally explain it. I began to connect with various theories of energy, ancient Indian, Tibetan, Taoist philosophies and so on. After the Vipassana experience, these philosophies made sense to me. Ever since I've been hugely interested in connecting to the world via energy. Through meditation and various energy healing techniques, this connection continues to strengthen. As a result I've started to become more sensitive to energy (not always a good thing!), and had the privilege of connecting to some of the most amazing, sacred energy sites around the world during this trip.

Everyone who walks this path seems to have a different way of coming into it. Some are seeking healing or peace of mind, some have experimented with psychedelics, others simply exist this way naturally. Raw food is what opened the door for me, even though I do not consider myself a 'raw-foodist' I am aware through personal experience of how our diet affects not only our physical but our mental, emotional and spiritual wellbeing. Whatever the 'door opener' is, the path is unique for each individual and I try to always have respect for where someone is one their journey and choose to believe each person is ultimately guided by an inherent wisdom or higher aspect of themselves. What I describe here has simply been my experience.

This has not necessarily been an easy path. When one attempts or commits to evolving their spiritual aspect it is almost as though that which does not ultimately serve them is brought forward for attention, healing and release. Or at least, this process starts to manifest more quickly. This has resulted in some dramatic highs and lows, or emotional rollercoasters. However, I can only say that these occasions allow the opportunity for release and allowing more 'light' into one's life. Glimpsing those moments of living in natural magic is priceless and makes the attempt at cultivating those daily habits worthwhile. The alternative of reverting back to a state of constant 'dullness' is hardly appealing. As time goes on I am learning to recognise it happening and just ride it out.

Learning the hands on healing technique of Reiki (life energy) has also been an amazing gift for me. This has allowed me to gradually connect with a higher wisdom and channel messages, images etc. This and the readings from a psychic channel I've worked with, have largely shaped this trip that I've undertaken and the locations I've visited. At first, I didn't want to do it. After leaving my job I had some time, some money and wanted to do something 'practical' like start a business, continue study, or volunteer on an overseas aid project etc. However as the trip progresses and I start to see things fall into place, I realise that despite being a tremendous leap of faith, this experience has been incredible and I look forward to seeing where it goes from here.

Anyway, I hope this has been of interest to someone. If you have any questions or comments please feel free to ask. Lots of love, Megan :-)